


All This and Heaven Too

by ByTheAngell (SomeLittleInfamy)



Series: Tumblr Prompts [7]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-29 10:55:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15071696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomeLittleInfamy/pseuds/ByTheAngell
Summary: Alec never seriously stopped to think about raising children with Magnus until the day he sees just how great he is with them, and wonders how he never saw it before.





	All This and Heaven Too

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr Prompt: “So basically Alec sees Magnus interacting with a toddler and just blurts out "do you want one?" ”

 

It isn’t often there are actual infants at the Institute, but when a last-minute emergency arises and a Shadowhunter is called away on a vital mission Alec agrees to watch the woman’s child until she returns. He spent his entire existence laying his life on the line in the field, and he was around to help with Izzy when they were younger… how hard could watching one toddler for a couple of hours be now? 

...less than an hour later he’s trying to figure out how he’s going to get  _ literally anything done _ for the rest of the night, because at this rate it’s going to take him until well past midnight just to finish the basic paperwork piled on his desk. The little girl, who was no more than 1 or 2 years old,  hasn’t stopped crying for twenty straight minutes and he can’t even think for five seconds, let alone concentrate long enough to fill out reports. 

When Magnus calls to see why he’s running late Alec picks up the phone, holding it pressed clumsily against his ear with his shoulder as he bounces the little girl in his arms, trying to quiet her just long enough to hold a conversation. He doesn’t succeed. 

“Hey, I meant to call earlier.” His words are strained as he tries to speak over the crying, but also not yell directly next to the young child’s ears. It’s a losing battle. “I’m going to be stuck here pretty late tonight, don’t wait up.” 

“Alexander, why is there a baby screaming? Where are you?” 

“My office. Sorry, I can’t get her to stop. She’s been doing this for…” he pauses, glancing at the clock. “Twenty-two minutes now. Is that normal? She doesn’t feel warm so I don’t think she’s sick, but--” He’s trying to sound calm, like this is totally normal and he has it entirely under control, but there’s an edge to his voice that Magnus picks up on immediately. 

Magnus ignores the fact that his first question is left unanswered. “Hold on, I’ll be right there.” The line goes dead, and only moments later there’s the familiar swirl of a portal opening up into the middle of his office. Magnus steps through and takes a moment to survey the scene that greets him  as it closes. 

The little girl is silent now, staring transfixed at the space where the portal just was. “Why do you have a child?” Magnus asks again. 

“I needed Nightshade for a last-minute mission, but she didn’t have anyone to watch Tamara, so I said I’d do it.” The little girl starts to squirm in his arms when she realizes the portal isn’t coming back and grows antsy once more. “No, c’mon just stay quiet for two minutes, please.” Alec pleds softly to her, beginning to bounce her in his arms again with a helpless look of defeat on his face. 

“Here,” Magnus says, holding his arms out expectantly. “Go finish your work.” Alec only hesitates for a few seconds before handing her over. 

“Are you sure? I’m fine, really, I-” 

“-not another word, Lightwood. Go on.” Magnus waves his free hand dismissively as he holds Tamara effortlessly his right arm. Alec gives Magnus a small smile and nods, going back to his desk to start on his backed-up workload. It doesn’t take long for Magnus to conjure the softest rug from the Loft to cover the hard office floor, sitting Tamara down on the plush surface. 

Except Alec doesn’t manage to get any more work done. He’s too busy watching his boyfriend play with the shadowhunter child, tickling her until she screeches in glee, little arms flailing helplessly in response to the soft brushes of Magnus’ fingers against her stomach and feet until the novelty of that wears off and he switches to entertaining her with magic instead. She watches the colored swirls of Magnus’ magic as they move between his fingertips sometimes like swirls of fog, sometimes like bolts of electricity,  her curious ‘coo’s dissolving into giggles when he rains a harmless shower of multicolored sparks down around them, and soon Magnus is laughing with her.   
  
The sight of them sitting there so content, so effortlessly  _ happy _ , warms his heart and melts away any tension he felt before Magnus arrived. He doesn’t realize he’s staring until Magnus looks over and raises an eyebrow. “What?” He asks curiously. 

Alec is silent for a long while, still lost in his thoughts of how soft Magnus looks just then and how naturally he fell into those little moments, and something falls into place in his mind. Of course he is great with Madzie, but that always seemed like a special case somehow because she's a warlock and always seems so much older than her young years should allow after everything that happened to her. But watching him here, like this, playing with the random child of some woman he didn’t even know… this is when it hits him.

“Do you want to have a kid?” The question leaves his lips before he really stops to think about them, but the moment after there’s a flush to his cheeks at the implication those seven small words have, at the weight of them hanging in the air between them. He backtracks quickly as a look of surprise crosses Magnus’ features and he fears he crossed some invisible line they aren’t ready for yet even though they’ve been together over a year now. “Not with me, I don’t mean--” 

“...so you’re asking if I want to have a kid with someone else?” Magnus clarifies, the surprise still there but now coupled with a small smirk as he plays with Alec’s obvious nervous fumbling. 

“No!” Alec exclaims, and then sighs, wishing his brain was better at keeping up with his mouth. “No, I… I guess I just meant in general? I don’t know if you ever had one, you never mentioned anything about babies before, but you’re a natural at this. I just wondered if it might be something you ever wanted.”  _ Or something you want now, _ Alec adds silently in his head, the longing settling deep within him all at once with a certainty that scares him.  

Magnus frowns - it’s quick, but Alec catches it before he looks away for a moment, obviously lost in some thought or another before he looks back at Alec with a more controlled, neutral expression. “There were times I wanted nothing more.” He admits, and he smiles softly now but it’s tainted by the sadness he can’t quite keep from his eyes. “Unfortunately, that’s usually around the time most of those relationships ended. I’ve never been with someone who stuck around long enough to settle down into that sort of life before and at some point I just stopped hoping for it. There’s a reason you rarely see a warlock with a family - we just aren’t made for that sort of life.” His thoughts are on Etta, and the countless others before her, and he welcomes the distraction of Tamara who makes a sad burbling noise at being ignored. Magnus pastes on another big, showy smile as his magic forms little blue bubbles in the air that float around her, popping as she touches them, each eliciting a sudden burst of laughter at the surprise of the ‘pop!’. 

Alec hears the hurt behind Magnus’ words and he hates it. He hates that Magnus suffered so much loss and pain his his past, but mostly he hates that Magnus was denied such a simple, basic desire - the love of a family. It’s clear that he’s wanted it in the past, that maybe he still wants it now even though he stopped allowing himself the luxury of believing it’s something he deserves. It isn’t fair. Magnus deserves the world, or at least as much of it as Alec is capable of giving to him. 

“And what about now?” Alec asks, feeling suddenly emboldened. 

“...what about now?” Magnus repeats, slow and cautious, not wanting to read too much into Alec’s question. Not wanting to get his hopes up yet again for a life he wasn’t destined for. For a love he was never meant to have. 

Alec swallows hard but he doesn’t shy away from the singular thought that takes over his entire brain, loud and unrelenting. “Would you want to have a kid with me? Maybe not right this second, but I’m not going anywhere. And I think you’d be an amazing father.”

“Really?” Magnus looks confused first, as if he can’t possibly be hearing what Alec just said correctly. All of Magnus’ attention is on Alec now, searching his expression and his words for any sign of doubt, of second thoughts over what he just said. 

“I would love to raise a family with you one day, Magnus.” Alec has never said anything with more conviction than he feels just then. “If that’s something you want, too.” 

It shouldn’t surprise him any more the way Alec so effortlessly breaks down every barrier he has, but somehow it always does, leaving Magnus stunned as he shows the most honest version of himself he’s lived in decades. Magnus sits in silence for a minute, and Alec patiently gives him whatever time he needs. This is a bit of a bombshell to drop on someone with no warning (not that he expected to say it, either, caught just as off-guard at the turn the night took). He doesn’t want Magnus to say something he doesn’t mean just because he thinks it’s what he wants to hear. 

“Yes.” Magnus says finally, and despite the initial hesitation there is no doubt that he means it. “I think that’s something I want very much.”    
  


**Author's Note:**

> (Find me on [Tumblr](http://bytheangell.tumblr.com))


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